A week so insignificant it’s significant

When I was old enough to read books without pictures I pretty much lost interest in reading…it’s true and now that I’m an adult I’m not afraid to admit that I don’t really like to ‘read’ – I mean I read, I write, but I’ve never been one of those people that dream of vacations on the beach with a good book, I’m more likely to dream of a vacation on the beach with a Margarita and hours of plentiful people watching all while indulging in US Weekly or the like. It’s who I am; so bare with me on this entry that actually forces one to READ.

Last Wednesday I had LASIK eye surgery, which was fabulous, painless and now I can see perfectly. I do have large bloody bruises on my eyeballs from the surgery that have concerned most on-lookers but I’m feeling great and can see like a champ. Wearing glasses is SO 2009 So my instructions post-op were to avoid straining my eyes on the computer or TV and to NOT work out for seven days. Coincidentally, the day after surgery OKC got a huge snow/ice storm and school was canceled on Thurs and Friday. My husband also left for a long working weekend away. So it was my boys, two dogs, one cat and I and a huge ice storm inside a house that doesn’t hold heat.

On day ONE of captivity I realized something about myself. I’m good at taking pictures of kids b/c I seriously have the attention span of a 4 year old. I kind of started to freak out, I was so bored, nothing to do, no where to go, I couldn’t work out, couldn’t edit pictures, couldn’t watch a long movie, we couldn’t even get in my car to go somewhere b/c it was frozen solid and I couldn’t get the doors open. Ultimately, late that afternoon my dear friend Sara picked me up and we got out of the house for some good company, good wine, and some heated religious debating. Post religious yelling I even brushed out my hair to provide comic relief, it was a site to see with my make-up less bloodied eyes and my TRUE TO LIFE afro – not sure I even put on a bra that day (maybe I chose the wrong elective surgery this year, but I don’t really need a bra anyway).

So days TWO-FOUR I decided to take the bull by the horns and DO something. Pitcher by hot pitcher I walked out to my car and poured steaming water all over my doors so I could thaw them open. And after about an hour or so of heat and scraping I won and got the damn car started. SO my adventures could commence…. First brilliant idea; I made the boys shower and put on cute clothes for pictures in the snow! B/C TRULY, what is more fun then getting dressed up, standing in the 20 degree blizzard and mustering up energetic GLEE, hence their genuine expressions of delight. My fingertips suffered frostbite. We then went to Michaels and bought art supplies, I tried to PAINT, really, tried to paint (inspired by my friend Cami who considers painting a creative outlet…a bit of therapy, difference is she’s actually really good at it), my creativity lasted all of about 8 minutes when I got really bored and realized I’m not AT ALL talented at painting – wish I would have realized that earlier b/c I dropped $100 on paint supplies. I retired Patti Picasso and started baking. At one point I made some bizarre brownie concauction. I finally gave myself an intervention on the 30th go of dipping my pointer finger in the peanut butter (with added butter) bowl into the brownie mix bowl and licking the finger clean over and over until I could feel my pants getting tighter. By day four I felt like one big IRONY, I let the dogs in all weekend, Leah the cat was even allowed to sleep inside, the boys and I all cuddled in one bed all weekend, I talked to my sister a lot on the phone, did a lot of facebooking, made the most AMAZING sugar cookies EVER (recipe per my sis who is an amazing cook), reaffirmed I have some amazing friends in this city and concluded the weekend by making a MEATLOAF. Which to me is just pure comedy. I don’t like meat in general really, so mushing up all that raw meat with my bare hands made me feel like a true prairie woman. At the end of the day, Jeremiah got home and we all ate meatloaf and frosted sugar cookies and the world felt a little warmer. Who knew a little snowstorm would allow me to see 20/20